i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
