Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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