carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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