somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
