do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
