fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
