is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
