you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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