her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
