awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
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