I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
