You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
