My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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