Whats the glycemic index on semen?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
