spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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