I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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