So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
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There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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