He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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