all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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