I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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