just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
