what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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