It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
