Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
