My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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