cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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