i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
not ubering you a puppy
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize