fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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