she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize