? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
