sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
