there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
