K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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