I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
