redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
