Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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