OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
