He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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