somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
PANTIES FOUND
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