Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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