they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
