I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We were destined to go to rehab together
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
