no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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