so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
