a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
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