You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
