so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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