is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
