Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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