What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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