I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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