K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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