she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
