I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
