can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
