if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Everyone says I win the strip club
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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