You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
