I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
did i walk over a car last night?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
