Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
We got so high we made milksteak
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
