I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
