you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
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This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
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Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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