She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
she peed on how many people?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
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I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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