Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
